yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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