Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
