I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
