We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
