ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
