Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize