He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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