Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
