It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
