Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
