We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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