i need an iv and a liver transplant
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I AM VODKA MAN
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
