CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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