i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
