VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
