Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
