god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
