I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Randomize
