I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
