Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
