Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Boobs are out for the taking
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
