he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
