Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
