Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
