is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
