just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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