There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
