Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
