you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
