I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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