so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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