I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
