whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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