OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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