I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
