How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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