Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
