Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
