We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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