Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."

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(732): View more from New Jersey

She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures

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(815): View more from Illinois

I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.

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(281): View more from Texas

well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"

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(847): View more from Illinois

she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos

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(609): View more from New Jersey

The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?

(1-860): View more from Connecticut

Who is this?

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