i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
