I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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