the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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