I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
