we have officially lost it.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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