Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
