yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
