What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
