FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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