I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
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