You can't special order awesome
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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