Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
