You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
