Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
