when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
