it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
it's like iHOP with fire
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
