I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
