Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
