Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
